Trauma

This morning my husband shared a beautiful story about a friend who is working on healing her trauma.  She took a trip to a nature preserve with her family. On a walk they came upon a bush full of butterflies.  She said that there were hundreds of bright and beautiful butterflies.  As they approached, they were suddenly flying around them. 

That magical sight helped her connect to beauty again. There was a shift.  She realized that the world was still full of wonder  and that there were still a lot of amazing experiences ahead of her. She knew the world held wonderful experiences yet to be realized. It was a turning point. She shares her story so that others understand that you can find beauty again.

Trauma is deeply ingrained in bodies. It affects physical well being and emotional well being.   Trauma is still not understood by many people.  Trauma looks like: exhaustion, anger, being overly productive, constantly busy or not wanting to do anything, isolation, lack of boundries, people pleasing, clinginess, lack of affect, anxiety, isolation and more.  Signs will vary from person to person. 

Trauma is sometimes misunderstood.  If you don’t fully understand a person’s history or don’t know them very well, you may not understand why a person is isolating, detached, tired, highly sensitive, reactive or why they show no emotion.  This is why it’s important not to judge others. We never know what their behavior stems from. 

Trauma is complex.  Trauma can affect anyone.  It’s estimated that in the United States at least 70% of people living here have experienced trauma.  Never be ashamed of feelings or emotions. A  traumatic event is never a person’s fault.  People do not deserve the trauma they carry.

Victims of trauma are often ashamed of their trauma.  They are afraid they will be stigmatized or labeled.   Trauma is a natural response to a horrific event or continuous exposure to high stress situations and experiences. 

First responders carry trauma, rape victims carry trauma, veterans carry trauma, people with disabilities, people struggling with illness, marginalized populations, victims of violence or war, those abandoned or neglected, workers in high stress occupations, victims of domestic violence and person’s from many other situations can suffer or have suffered trauma. It’s that prevalent.

Trauma can be healed.  Therapy is a great way to start to heal trauma. People can reclaim their lives, better manage their unpleasant memories and find happiness.   It’s important for everyone to support friends and family members who talk about their trauma. 

Never tell a trauma victim that they are not entitled to their feelings or view of the event.  It was their experience and not yours. Don’t tell them how they should feel. Be supportive. 

You can offer support by learning about PTSD, by not judging, by not blaming, by offering to go to therapy with them,  by planning positive experiences with them, by telling them you understand and are accepting of them.  You can also agree on a word or sign when they feel they need a break in social settings.  Be patient, don’t assume, listen, encourage treatment.  If you feel they are in danger get professional assistance immediately. 

Trauma can be managed by first acknowledging it and then working on healing it.  Feeling uncomfortable is the motivation to start healing.  Many people who experienced trauma have acknowledged the first step to healing was talking about it.  Crying, talking and starting to discuss its impact started releasing the memories and trauma’s hold.  

Healing looks like talking to a counselor, spending time out of doors, exercising, prioritizing healthy foods, a change of environment, journaling, practicing mindfulness, volunteering and spending time doing what you love.  These things can help to heal trauma.   Reclaiming your joy has to be celebrated.  Practice self-care. 

Please, seek support if you need it.  If you know someone who suffers from PTSD offer support.  Support looks different for everyone.  Ask people what you can do for them, listen to them and what they say their needs are.  Be respectful of their feelings.   Realize that trauma can be healed. The world is full of good experiences waiting for you. Sending love❤️