Ghosts

There are some people we will always be connected to.  They come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. They may leave our lives or stay.   There is a connection between this world and the next,  it is a fine line.

We are energy. We are balls of energy in human bodies during our lifetime. Our purpose may change as we learn and grow.  We are supposed to be in certain places, meet certain people, learn certain lessons. There is a reason for everything.

When my Dad was dying he told me to look for him.  What, I asked him? Where should I look for you? Outside he said, when you see a cardinal.  He sends a message to me when they appear.  

My husband responded on 9/11.  He was home that day but rushed in after the planes hit.  It took him about 20 minutes to get there. He lost friends that day and he saw things he will never forget. When you are downtown near the memorial fountain the wind always speaks.  Even on a summer day, you hear it.  The air is thick with presence.

Do people ever really leave us?  Spirit is energy and it is all around us.  If you learn to become quiet you can hear. 

You can pick up energy. You understand that is what we are. 

The bus is crowded and pulls up to 49th Street.  I’m looking out the window when there is a tap on my shoulder.  Hey Caro, hey, hey.  My friend Rick is there.  Smiling ear to ear.  He spins around the pole laughing.  Hey, are you going to work? I laugh and say, obviously.  I’m running late today, he said.  I’m glad though because, look, I got to see you. 

He tells me about his job and how things are and that we need to go horseback riding together.  It seemed so out of context, but I had laughed and said ok.  

We are on a city bus heading towards the F train.  He tells me about his girlfriend and mom on the train ride in, his plans for the future. Let’s definitely get together to go riding he said to me as he exited at his stop. I smile and wave.  We will never see each other again.

Mary’s my Angel, I know she is often around me.  She last spoke to me on a Friday and told me she was going to go away for the weekend.  Why, I said, stay here.  I didn’t like her voice. I didn’t like the tone of it. She dismissed me but I asked her again, can’t you stay here?  No, she said and she insisted that she wanted to go.  Monday at work I got a call. Mary was gone. I would never see her again. 

It was night and I was reading in bed before I went to sleep.  It was quiet and I drifted off.  It was the scratching that woke me up. I felt fingernails dig into my skin.

There was no mistake.  It started on my shoulder. The scratching ran from my shoulder down to my wrist. It was a slow, steady scratch.  It had intent.  It was meant to wake me up. I sat straight up.  I was wide awake.  I rolled onto my side and my body felt heat.  It was an intense heat.  My entire body felt it.  I rolled onto my back.  The heat rose off of my body and into a flash of light.

Instantly, I kicked off the covers. Someone was here!  I jumped out of bed and I ran to the light switch on the wall. The room was empty.

Afraid, I stood there for a minute. Who is here I thought? I looked around, I looked under the bed.  I had to process. Looking around I walked into the hallway. I turned on the hallway light. The house was quiet. I stood and listened. 

All the lights were on now and I walked the length of the house.  Every room was empty, the doors were locked.  Had it been a dream?  I sat up for a while, thinking. The next morning I got a call.  Michelle was gone. I knew then that she stopped by to say goodbye.

This life is a gift.  We are promised nothing.  If we understand our connection to everything, we will walk with love.  We won’t waste time on negative actions or people who are not showing right action or speech.  We won’t take the negative actions of others personally. We won’t engage with anyone in a harmful way.  We watch our words and speech. We understand the fragile connection between this world and the next.  This life, next life, past life, we are spirit,we are energy. 

There are people we will never forget.  They enrich our lives, teach us, bring us lessons or offer love and hope when we need it.  They are friends or family and in this life our journeys can be different from theirs. Are there really coincidences? People show up for a reason and they go for a reason. It is never goodbye, it’s until we meet again.